Review - Maroon 5 Girls Like You

I am back! And how amazing is it that the music video that I will be reviewing to bring my blog back from the dead, is from Maroon 5?

I wasn’t enthralled with the song at the beginning, but it grew on me after I listened to the song a couple more times. The best way I can describe how Girls Like Me sounds to me is clean, minimalist and unadorned. The main body of the song was really just Adam’s voice and James’ guitar accompaniment, and that sort of no-frills simplicity they presented was in my opinion, what made it a good song.

The music video was great, in that it was symbolized very well the minimalist approach of the song. There was just one set with no props, and the band was present but out of focus except for Adam. Even then, it becomes clear almost right away that he is not the main character of the video. The main characters were all the women who appeared at various intervals in the video. I think that it was a great idea on Maroon 5’s part to invite women from different industries, I believe there were athletes, models, celebrities and activists. It added some interesting depth to the music video, although personally I think that it is almost never a good idea to have activists on the music video set, and I'm going to add context to that by asking why Candace Owens was not invited. Or Sarah Haider? Surely political unicorns like them deserve the spotlight.

See what I mean? One or two would have been fine to add diversity, but having so many in your music video just opens a can of political worms that Maroon 5 did not have to, but I don’t want to get into politics in a song review. I was disappointed though, that Yuna was not invited to be on the music video. Was it because she wasn’t American? She would have been great on set! Then again, maybe I’m being biased. I just thought of another thing: How amazing would it have been if Gal Gadot appeared in her Wonder Woman gear? That would have blown my mind berries.

Let me ask this though: Does the final scene in the music video not look like Maroon 5 kidnapped a bunch of women and stuck them in a Hunger Games-esque arena to fight to the death?

May the odds be ever in your favor.

My money is on Eleven.

Remember how I said that the simplicity of Girls Like You was the best part of the song? Now this is where it also becomes a problem: The lyrics were too simple. The more I listened to it, the more I realized how it really says nothing at all. The depth that shows in the music video does not translate over to the actual song whatsoever, and most of Maroon 5 songs used to be intricate and meaningful. Songs like Animals and She Will Be Loved did not necessarily tell highly complex stories, but they still told stories. Girls Like You lacks the same substance.

I’ve always loved Maroon 5, and have followed their releases religiously for years. While Wait and Girls Like You was good, the truth is that the band has been on a slow and steady downward spiral ever since their V album. Here’s my theory: Ever since Adam Levine got married, his life has been so blissful and sparkly that it is reflecting in the band’s songs. Maroon 5 songs have always been amazing because there was a hint of darkness in them. Animals, One More Night, Maps, etc etc…Think about it. Even though songs like She Will Be Loved or Love Somebody, wasn’t dark in the same sense, there was an intense, raw emotion in them that lifted them above the average mundane. But now that the lead singer no longer has any melancholic emotions to inject in his songwriting, Maroon 5 songs are gradually taking their place as part of the endless sea of preppy pop music. I mean, yes, there have been poppy songs in the past like Sugar, which I thought was great by the way, but those have always been few and far in between.

The reason I think that Girls Like You is much better than their earlier songs have been is because it had the raw emotion that I spoke about. Furthermore, the music video was beautiful, especially at the end when his family made a cameo. It was pure, heartfelt and much better than the weird trippy stuff that Maroon 5 has been coming up with recently. Now I’m not trying to say that I want Adam Levine to wallow in angst and blasphemy in order to produce good music again. But I think that it would do Maroon 5 good if he could separate his work from his private life. I’ll say it again, Girls Like You was beautiful because there was a genuinely warm family moment in the end. But cameos in Wait and Cold were unnecessary. Like all celebrities, Maroon 5 represents an image, and that image is not Adam Levine, the doting family man. I’ll reinterate again, it’s good that he has such a fulfilling private life, but that should not be what Maroon 5 is about.

Right, now off I go back into hiding less the diehard Maroon 5 fans find me, murder me and decimate my dead corpse. Peace out.

Dear Asian Americans, Please Get Off Your High Horses

This is mostly a response piece to a truly awful article I read over the weekend, titled Dear white people, stop saying ‘Ni Hao’ to every East Asian student you see. DISCLAIMER: Before I go further into the complete asininity of the piece, I am not speaking about all Asian Americans, only for those who feel as strongly as the author about the issue. For the vast majority of Asian Americans, the real world is not actually a figment of their imagination.

The article was mainly a grievance piece about how white people make tactless assumptions about East Asians by calling out Ni Hao to every one they see. For those who do not know, Ni Hao is a Chinese greeting. She also pointed out that there have been threats of physical assault accompanying said verbal assaults, that gradually culminated to her having the equivalent of a minor heart attack every time she left the house. Now I absolutely do not condone physical violence or the threat of it in any form, and I fully acknowledge that that is extremely serious and should be reported to campus authorities. I am reasonably sure that physical assault on racial basis in the UK is a prosecutable offence, so she has the full backing of the law if she ever decided to take legal action against those people.

But let us focus on what she is really angry about, the verbal macroaggressions. And while I admit that saying Ni Hao to every Asian you meet is tactless (Please do not do this, I will get my hopes up and start talking to you in Mandarin, only to be disappointed if you are unable to follow through), it is not any more tactless than people in mainland China speaking to foreigners in English. What if the foreigner is French? Or Russian? If the author is being honest to herself, would she be able to tell the difference? Secondly, why are we still getting upset that Westerners cannot tell the difference between Asians? Let me divulge a long-kept secret: When I was an exchange student in South Korea, locals would come up to me and start talking to me in Korean until I explained that I didn’t speak the language. The truth is, most Asians can’t even tell each other apart. *Gasp*

Everyone else: I don't know what to believe anymore. 

Furthermore, there is a significantly larger Chinese student population than any other Asian group, so white people really are just applying basic statistics, much like we do when we say hello to white people. I’m sorry, but 1.3 billion is unequivocally a lot more than 50 million. Why am I talking about white and Asian people in group terms? It's so bizarre. People like Jin Hyun are turning me into a racist.

If someone says Ni Hao to you, laugh and call them out on it. Better yet, speak in your native language and embarrass them. But if being greeted in another language is enough for the author to develop ‘anxiety-inducing nightmares’, she needs a serious reality check.

When did we decide that it was alright to speak derisively about an entire race of people? We complain about being categorized into a tiny, single-race box, only to dismiss white people as exactly the same racist, bigoted group. Was it when it became trendy to bash Caucasians as the root of all evil in the world, and we decided we wanted to be hip like the cool kids on the left? Was it because that even after all the social progression that has been made, even after we conquered the top income/social class, we are still insecure enough to play the victim card and are thus compelled to post scathing opinion pieces that generalize white people as high-and-mighty Western imperialists out to conquer the poor, minority Asians?

We from the Four Tigers and the Cubs are unique in the sense that some of the fastest economic developments ever seen in the history of time are taking place in our countries at this very moment. When I was a child, my family was so poor that getting a meal at McDonalds was as likely as ordering a Beef Wellington hand prepared by Gordon Ramsay. Today, I am lucky enough to be given the opportunity of an education in the United States. There are people born in developed countries who grew up taking wealth and privilege for granted. There are also people who were born in less developed countries who might never ever have the chances that we were given. We were born during a time when our people were struggling to survive, and we are alive today to witness the economic boom that made it possible for us to stand our ground against the other big players. We alone understand what a blessing it is to be alive during this time, when the whole world is watching us and trying to emulate us. But instead of being proud of a civilization who had progressed this far, the author is appealing to her Asian heritage for the sole reason of playing the victim.

I am going to end the article with this comment: The author is American, not Asian. She has no idea of the experiences and struggles that people from Asia had gone through, and the article perfectly expresses this because I have never once heard of an equivalent article written by a Korean, Chinese or Vietnamese. We do not whine about macroaggressions and trigger warnings because there are always much more prevalent, serious issues that we are still dealing with. If the author truly cared about issues in regards to her ethnicity, I invite her to tackle challenges prevalent to South Korea, mainly the unrealistic beauty standards, suicide epidemic and treatment of women. The only question is whether or not she, like so many born in the Western world, would be willing to leave her privilege long enough to give a damn about the people she claims to speak on behalf of.

3 Popular Fashion Trends that are The Work of The Devil

As you know in fashion, one day you’re in, and the next day you’re out. And while I don’t pretend to be an expert on fashion (I am), here are three trends that in my opinion, should get out and stay out.

      1.     Harem Pants

There was a time in my life, a happier time when I thought that harem pants would someday cease to exist. Sure they had been fashionable in the 80s, the period that we will fondly remember for rock music, VHS tapes and the Cold War, but just like the awful, awful leg warmer trend, harem pants were simply not meant to survive longer than a generation. So when people realize how truly hideous they looked, those bizarre, ill-fitting, alien outfits were put into the back of every closet, never to be spoken of again. Until Gangnam Style.

You shattered my hopes and dreams.

As much as I love the many eccentricities of his music videos, not least of all his signature galloping dance move, the second I saw his style of choice, clinging desperately to the last shred of relevance, I knew that my long years of harem-pantsless peace was coming to a bitter end. And while I do not believe that he was solely responsible for making harem pants cool again, his music video did force me to face the uncomfortable reality that some terrible trends just refuse to die.

      2.     Bodysuits

I feel like I might garner much more criticism for saying this. After all, at least we can mostly agree that harem pants are not for everyone, but bodysuits are sort of beautiful in a minimalistic chic way. But here is my issue with bodysuits: No matter how much we want to pretend that they are simply a kind of form-flattering, retro street chic top, the fact is that tops do not make you question your life choices every time you need to use the bathroom!

When rompers came back into fashion, I went through a soul-searching moment in which I asked myself whether I really wanted to participate in a trend that seemed to exist only for the sole purpose of reestablishing the myth that women don’t need to expel waste from their bodies. Ultimately rompers proved too tempting a style to resist, as I joined the ranks of the many purveyors of this fashion that encourages one to hold everything in until you reach the comforts of your home. But bodysuits are one step above rompers because while rompers are loose and easy to maneuver, a bodysuit is the equivalent to a bathing suit that you wear to the mall. It is not made to come off easily.

Pictured: Not Toilet Friendly.

3. Tights
There, I said it. Tights are the work of the devil.

Hear me out. Firstly, I was never a fan of tights. I couldn’t understand why anyone would willingly subject themselves to this awful fabric that would cling onto your legs like a second skin. But I admit that I might be prejudiced given that I come from a tropical country. Have you ever tried wearing a body-hugging article of clothing in a 90-degree weather with an average of 80% humidity level? I can assure you that it is not advisable.

Secondly, I once made the mistake of standing behind someone as she bent over to pick something up. Did you know that the material of tights is in fact, semi opaque? I guess that is why people usually pair them with baggy T-shirts. Well, I did not know that, and I certainly did not expect to see EVERYTHING that I saw that day. Shudder. And even though I feel like I am the only one who feels this way since everyone seems to own and wear tights, that does not change my opinion that they should be burned and their ashes shot into deep space.

In conclusion, I just really hate tight clothing.