I feel like I should start this post with a disclaimer: I am only referring to the one person I talked to, so obviously he does not represent the majority of Americans. What I wrote here does not reflect my opinion on the entire country.
I feel like one day I would probably publish a blog about the political correctness in America because I have quite a bit to say about this issue. To say that the US is very politically correct is an understatement. I have never experienced living in an environment where there is so much free speech and so much stifling going on at the same time. The other day, Richard Spencer gave a talk at the Texas A&M University about white supremacy, and the university administration allowed him to do so without protest because of free speech. Just two days ago, I tried to talk about issues regarding the African American community in the US, and I was labeled as insensitive and racist. The R-word was not used in the entire conversation, but the underlying meaning was obvious.
So here is how it went down. I told a friend that I thought that the US was too politically correct at times, which can lead to a) People not being able to discuss openly about issues that need to be discussed in order for a solution to be created for said issues, and b) This smothering of free speech will generate a swell of pent-up frustration that people will unleash by voting for Donald Trump. These were my exact words that followed: "For example, if I wanted to talk about the crime rates among African Americans." To answer his question of why I would choose to focus only on African Americans, I did so because it is a sensitive topic, which makes it easier to highlight the issue of political correctness. If I brought up crime rates among white people or Jews, that would have been too easy. Would crime rates among Jews be an easy topic though? He is also a Jew, and would probably take offence as well. Do they even have a high crime rate? I heard that Jews were the model minority. I'll have to research that, but I digress. I chose this topic to stir up uncomfortable feelings, I'll admit that, because I was trying to prove a point.
He replied that I was well within my right to have an opinion about the issue, just as much as he had a right to think I was an asshole for having one. I actually think that one needs a more legitimate reason to call someone an asshole, but I did not give the matter much thought until late at night when he continued the conversation via PM. While he understood that he was making a point, he said that my comments about African Americans were inappropriate and how would I feel if my friend labeled me as a criminal. I asked him why he was taking it personally, there are crime rates among African Americans same as every other race in America. Again, I picked that particular race because it was a sensitive topic. He proceeded to tell me that statistically he was more likely to be shot than me and asked me if I knew what it felt like to see white people afraid of me. I personally would not know because I'm about the size of a mouse-deer, and it would be strange for anyone to be afraid of me. But I apologised if I offended him and in a moment of self-righteousness I suppose, reminded him that perhaps he shouldn't complain so much because I was from a country where minorities are treated far worse. He became really angry, and told me that he knew all about the plight of my race and not to make this into a situation of "I have it worse than you, so shut up.".
If I was being honest, I brought up the issue of his constant complaining because it was honestly a little frustrating. He is African American and also a Jew, and thus constantly brings up the unfair treatment of those two minorities. He constantly brings up the persecution of Jews, and constantly praises himself for succeeding in life despite being a disadvantaged brown/black kid from Connecticut. His words, not mine. As for me, I just finished reading an article where a mother in Somalia witnessed her nine-year old daughter get raped to death by three fighters in front of her, before she got sold off as a slave herself. I then proceeded to read an account by a Yazidi captive who was put in a room to be sold, as she listened to the screams from the next room as a seven-year old was raped by ISIS fighters. I myself have been called a pig and a dog by the government officials of my own country, but that pales in comparison to what those people have gone through. So when someone with a Masters Degree and a job with the state government waiting for him when he graduates, who was born in a liberal city in one of the most powerful countries in the world complains constantly about how disadvantaged he is , it grates on me a little.
I ended the conversation by chastising him for saying that I had a difficult life. I am studying for my Masters degree in the United States, that sentence alone indicates that I am extremely blessed for what I have. I also reminded him that I only brought up the African American issue to raise a point about the political correctness in the US, and I believed that he proved my point. I was too defeated to read his response, however I think he denied calling me a racist, although it is sort of implied in the context already. He also told me that he adopted to Asian culture when he was in Taiwan for three years, and basically said that 'when I am in America, act like an American'. I'm not sure what defines acting American, but I speak English and eat American food. I also drink lime-flavoured Budweiser.
But from the context, I assume that acting American refers to not talking about things that people might get offended by. In other words, don't talk about issues that are politically incorrect. Here's the thing though: I thought that I was embracing the US culture of encouraging free speech. But instead of having a proper discussion with me, he attacked me for being insensitive before I even said anything about the topic. For the record, if he allowed me to state my opinion, here is what I would have said. African American crime rates are higher than white crime rates in proportion to the percentage of their population. If I am wrong, feel free to correct me. But if I'm right, why does this happen?
I had recently taken a migration class where one of the
researches we read discovered that migrants generally had a higher crime rate than locals. The paper theorized that it was because migrants tend to be more economically disadvantaged, and desperate peeple were more likely to commit crimes. African Americans have a higher poverty rate, therefore that theory could apply to them as well, which would mean that their crime rate could be linked to their economic state. Their economic state could be caused by a number of reasons (racial bias, history etc etc), but if there was a correlation, then it would make sense that solving poverty rates among African Americans would solve their crime rates. Personally, I did not think that I was being insensitive or racist for having that opinion.
One of my theories of why this discussion would stir up such negative feelings is the general stereotype that African Americans commit more crimes. I am not sure if it is an accurate stereotype, but I've certainly heard of it once upon a time. So perhaps he felt defensive when I brought up the topic and assumed that I was about to use it to justify...I don't know, racial bias? The point is, I might have had useful information about how to reduce crime rates, but rather than giving me the benefit of the doubt, he presumed that I was about to say something negative. He made a wrong assumption about me, the very thing he accused me of doing to him.
Another thing that bothered me immensely about our conversation was his demand for me to "act American". The moment he said that was the first time since I arrived that I ever truly felt like an outsider. I had fallen in love with the US because of its diversity, its values and most of all, its acceptance. Even though I love my home country as well, I was often hurt by the fact that I did not truly belong. I grew up in a very homogenous society that would often single you out if you did not behave the same as everyone else, and I was far too rebellious to fit perfectly into that societal jigsaw. That is why I was so happy to be in the US where I felt free for the first time to be whoever I wanted to be. But now I am being told that my personality and opinions are equally unwelcome here, and that I should behave in a way that is deemed acceptable.
My mother told me that my friend was insecure about his life, which is why he projected that insecurity to me. Maybe that was the case, I'm not sure. I honestly believe that the US is a great country, but I have also been severely disconcerted twice by Americans. The first time was when President Trump enacted the travel ban, and I watched international students with valid visas being held up at airports. The second time was now, when my faith in the American value of acceptance was shaken when I was told to act American. What if I said that I couldn't do that? What if I continue to discuss uncomfortable topics because I feel that they need to be discussed? "If you can't act American, then go back to where you came from." Is this something that I would hear next?
